Mr. Mom

This inital post has been hard to write- so I'm going to throw some mental spew:

Do I write about the YW teachers who told me to get a career as back up because my husband might get sick, die, leave, paralyzed, but never mentioned that his career might be made obsolete due to legislation proposed by an overambitious senator that wants to gain control of all the financial industries regardless of whether or not they had or could have an impact on a financial meltdown (in the process severely damage the Utah economy in 2011)?

Or about the husband who looks at this as a rare opportunity to spend a great deal of time with his little girl?

Do I talk about how this recession has proven that women really are paid less than men, because when you need to pinch pennies- being a bigot gets expensive; so more men have been laid off than women?

Or is it about the benefits of having the gender roles reversed- the wife feeling the burden each day to stay in a less than ideal job in order to provide for her family. The husband feeling worn out and sleepless regardless of the ability to nap at home?

Is this a gratitude post- expressing thanks to a mother who refused to let me mess around in college and made me graduate- gratitude for personal revelation that inspired me to do what was best for my family, and not what the social pressures said I should do?

I really don't know what this post is suppose to be, more than anything it's a preview of posts to come. Welcome to my world, all be temporary of Mr. Mom. The man of the house now cooks, cleans (and he's so much better at those two than I am) and tends the baby, the woman of the house now is solely responsible bringing home the bacon and all are very very happy.

The Vacation Clause

I ran my first marathon when I was single, in Las Vegas on a SUNDAY. My mom didn't quite understand that the vacation clause applied to this event.

Everyone knows that the vacation clause applies to running a marathon on Sundays as long as it's not in your hometown, you're single OR your kids aren't old enough to think it's ok to break the Sabbath for sporting events. When in reality we know that this isn't breaking the Sabbath- it's a spiritual experience beyond that of 3 hours of church and certainly doesn't fall into the same category as a Sunday soccer match-but you can't explain that to a 5 year old.

You call it rationalizing, I say it makes perfect sense.

The Most Annoying Ad on TV

Why is USPS advertising?
Am I the only one that sees this as grossly wrong?

A GOVERNMENT program, that has countless issues, is losing loads of money is using tax payer dollars to advertise itself.

Here's a thought- if no one is using a government service- why not get rid of it?

The USPS gets subsidized by our taxes, FedEx and UPS don't.
GM got subsidized by our taxes, Ford didn't. (Did you SEE last months earnings?)

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a pattern here. The government should never enter the free market with services subsidized with the taxes of their competitors.

The USPS commercials really aren't that bad- but knowing that my taxes help payed for it annoys the hell out of me.

Top 10 Reasons Utah is the Happiest State in the Union

It's official. Utahans are the happiest- you read the analysis as to why and really, no one can figure out out except "Utah has strong families and conservatives. Conservatives are happier" Which would make sense if we had a conservative government- really liberals should be happier- they've got Pelosi, Reid, Obama, MSN, CNN (we'll miss you Lou!), - but no, happy people tend to be conservative. Regardless- here is Kory's top 10 reasons Utah is the happiest state in the Union.

10. Milk is $1.28 a gallon
9. Snowbird, Alta, Solitude, Sundance, Snow Basin
8. We're finally getting In N Out
7. Everything seems exciting after 3 hours of church
6. The Twilight Series came out in film
5. Utah finally discovered Glenn Beck after switching from CNN to Fox
4. Remember this post?
3. BYU coed jokes are so 1978, it's now a proven fact- they are ridiculously fit.
2. More breast augmentations per capita than any other state in the union

And the Number one reason (in the same thread as the number two reason) SHABAM!
Utah has the highest birth rate in the nation.

Getting over myself

Everyone measures success differently. What I've noticed is that we may have one standard for success of others, and a completely different standard of success for ourselves.

As soon as I had a baby- my own hypocrisy was glaring at me. I realized that what I said I valued as success, wasn't even near what my self-esteem hinged upon. What I valued in myself isn't what I valued in others.

Since the birth of that little girl I have lost nearly everything that previously constructed my self worth. The things that I had deemed gave me value are gone, and replaced with the most wonderful, beautiful loving child.

I've had to get over myself. Realizing that life no longer about me- my value is not in my own accomplishments but in this precious little girl. The me time, it's over. And that's ok. It's nothing to mourn. I'm not valuable because I can close a big sale, nor because I can run 10 miles. Fun is no longer a fresh run on a powder day or being the first one on the water.

This is not to say I'd be happy as a stay at home mommy- I'd go crazy being at home full time. I'd be insane or on meds.

It's probably not politically correct to say my life is all about my family. It's not trendy to say I derive my happiness not from my career, academic or social accomplishments but from the happiness of my husband and child. This is not to say that I wish I had gotten married earlier and started a family at the same time as the rest of the state of Utah- all it means is that the source of my self worth has shifted, and I've had to make it a conscious effort to make the shift.

I've been fighting this- trying to put my daughter first and still maintain the same level of excellence in other areas that I had prior to her birth. It's not possible. In order to relive the frustration of not having my cake and eating it to- I've come to acceptance and the easiest solution- I've gotten over myself.

The Mishmash is BACK

Most of the time my mom is right- this time she wasn't. I'm going back to one blog. One blog with both my political rants and social commentary. If this alienates one of my 6 readers- so be it. Maybe if I go back to focusing on one, I'll go back to posting.

Milk, It does an agenda good!

It started with Al Gore- a man who got the Nobel Peace Prize for a movie. A movie that if it was indeed accurate, he should have received the award for science.

Al Gore won the Nobel Prize beating out Holocust survivor Irena Sendler who saved 2,500 Jewish children from certain death.

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for....well...we still don't know.

And now, the State of California has decided to honor Harvy Milk- for what? for being gay. Forget that one Californian who ended the cold war with out actually having a war, honoring him with a state day doesn't push forward with anyone's agenda.

The key:
"While it will not be a state holiday, schools will be encouraged to hold lessons "remembering the life of Harvey Milk, recognising his accomplishments and familiarising pupils with the contributions he made to this state"."

And further in the article you read:
"Harvey Milk symbolises the importance of the gay community in California," said McClear. "And the governor wanted to honour that community. A well-known film brought awareness of him."

So what does that mean? Homosexuality is now officially taught in California public schools.

I Told Me So

(I know this post is SO 6 days ago, but this whole working 50 hours a week really is taking a toll on the blog!)

Remember back when Barack was running for president and I kept complaining about how he hadn't accomplished anything, his resume was virtually empty, and if we were hiring him for a job as CEO of anything (much less a country) his resume would have plummeted to the bottom of the pile and would never have been called for an interview. SNL reminded me that is a BONUS feature in someone who's ideas you do not agree with- not a drawback and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside that I did not vote for Hillary Clinton in the primaries- because she would have taken control and gotten something done. Luckily it looks like Obama may have the same empty resume he had when he was elected to the position.

(which right now, the less that gets accomplished on this president/ congresses watch- the better!)




Granted SNL did ignore 2 major accomplishements- the nationalization of our auto industry, and the increasing of our national debt by more than all of our previous presidents combined- but I give congress credit for the last one.

Robbing Peter to Pay Pelosi

Can someone explain why groups, entities or businesses that "need" government funding, and then are granted dollars out of the pockets of hard working Americans are then permitted to turn around and give money to political figures, lobbyists, or campaigns in hopes of them granting MORE funds to said organization?

It's a terrible cycle. A business, group, union needs money so they SPEND money petitioning congressmen, senators, throw fundraisers, GIVE money to campaigns, or lobby for reform that would give them taxpayer dollars- the government then takes money from the tax payers to give to these groups, who in return a portion back to their peeps in government, who take more from the taxpayers to give to said groups, who give back some to their government peeps, who take more from the taxpayers....

If any entity gets money from the US Government in the form of a subsidy, grant, or otherwise they should there forward be restricted in contributing anything, ANYTHING to any government party, person, function, proposition, reform- regardless of party.

Sure members of that organization can do what they want, but the organization itself must be banned from all political activity while receiving tax payer dollars.

The Audacity of Hos

I've been trying to figure out a way to get my liberal friends opinions on our unbiased media's coverage of ACORN...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Audacity of Hos
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

Cheerleader in Chief

Deceived as we all may be, Obama does have something of an economist in him- he has no business experience, he has no policy experience, he has no military experience- however he has experience running a campaign, a successful campaign. And seeing as a campaign is all he has ever run, it's not a surprise that he has interperted his job not to command, nor to lead- but to convince. He, like most economists advocate is specializing, doing what he knows how to do. Leave it to congress to make decisions, Obama is our cheerleader in chief.

As of July 13 President Obama had made 200 speeches. That is not including the 20+ speeches we've heard on healtcare reform, and we still don't know what's in the bill. We've also haven't taken into calculations the numerous interviews, 5 of which are scheduled for THIS Sunday.

One might question when he has time to be president. The reality, he's doing what he does best, he's doing what is on his resume- he's running a campaign, leave it to congress, aids, czars and the rest to run the country.

So Mr. President, I dedicate this video to you:

Quick Question

Which is worse- for someone to lie or be disrepectful?

I'm not saying either is good but, if you had a choice, would you rather be disrepected or lied to?

All the cool kids hate Glenn

Am I the only one sitting in awe that Glenn Beck got zero attention when he was on Headline News?

He switches to Fox and SHABAM! 'WHO DOES THIS GLENN BECK GUY THINK HE IS?"


It's hilarious. My 6 readers know I love Glenn Beck. I actually love the Headline News Glenn Beck, the Fox News Glenn Beck I find moderately entertaining for 5 minutes and then I can't handle the energy.

Oh, and I do like the Bill O'Reily Glenn Beck, and I loved the Ben Stein/ Glenn Beck Combo- and have you seen the Shackenstien comcast commercials? Love the shackenstien.

What's pretty funny is this new loathing Glenn Beck. It's trendier to hate Glenn Beck than George W. Bush. George W. was soooo 9 months ago.

I'm not a fan of Keith Olberman, I do think he's a general tool- however,I don't let him dominate my thoughts nor do I don't him in every day conversation, I really don't think much about him until I hear some liberal spit out his talking points like they're some sort of genius. But I would pretty much hate Keith Olberman regardless of what network aired his bologna.

So I ask: why the sudden interest in Mr.Beck?- he's been on television since January of 2006- that's 3.5 years you could have been hating this man!

Nothing has changed about Glenn Beck except his network, so this sudden surge of hatred can only lead me to believe one of two things:

1- If it's CNN, we're cool, it doesn't matter what you say. You have the protection of CNN. (See Lou Dobbs)

2- More people watch Fox News that you'd like to think.

Environmental McCarthyism in Utah

I'm all about saving the environment.

My husband's 2006 VW Diesel Jetta gets 40 miles to the gallon.

We just received a letter from the county that an anonymous tipster said it was blowing out black smoke and destroying mother earth.

We now have to drive to a county inspection service, pay $50 for that service to prove that are car was not tampered with.

The county will not release the name of this tipster. Despite what the constitution says, we can not face our accusers.

You all know how much I hate anonymous commenters. Cowards that throw poison darts, self-righteous commentary and criticism with out taking any accountability for their words.



It had to be a holier than thou Prius driver. Good thing we turned in our aluminum cans to be recycled last week so we have some cash on hand to pay for this environmental zealot. I'm almost tempted to NOT recycle my cardbord this month. That'll show 'em!

Poor Snobs

I've recently encountered a major amount of snobbery.
People that are too good to shop at walmart.
Too good to shop at DI.
Regardless of the exact same items (I'm talking Brand Name Items) being sold at Walmart for 1/2 the price of Babies R Us.
The same people that would never wear a moisenite regardless of it being indistinguishable between a diamond.

These people happen to be the people that have either declared bankruptcy, have a great deal amount of debt, or do not own their own homes.

When I talk to these people I get the "That's not good enough from me" attitude and I can't understand it, mostly because I know that they have no money.

Those that have money, do not have this attitude.

I know books have been written about this- The Millionaire Next Door and Suzy Orman talks about it in a number of her books- those that live modestly have more money, but it's starting to drive me crazy.

It's as bad as unwarranted arrogance.

But then again, it's not like congress is much different.

Congress Bait and Switch

True- I benefited from the cash for clunkers program, a program that allegedly was formulated to assist getting gas guzzling cars off the road and help with climate change. However the program has one massive flaw- you must exchange your gas guzzler for a NEW more efficient car. This program can be used only by people in a certain income range- namely those that can afford a new car in a recessionary period. Which leaves us asking the follwoing questions:

If our democrat congress is so intent on helping the poor, why didn't they give assistance to those that can afford a used car and not a new car?

If the intent is to assist with climate change why the stipulation that you must purchase a new car, why not a more fuel efficient used car?

Isn't it more environmentatlly friendly to utlize the used fuel efficient cars on the market than the new fuel efficient car? Why on earth would our congress that is SO SO SO conserned with the environment be against someone trading in their gas guzzler for a 2007 Prius?

Who benefits from the 'new car' stipulation?

Auto Unions. This 'climate change' initative is just another way to funnel tax payer dollars back to the unions. AUTO UNIONS benefit from the words "NEW CAR" not the environment and not Americans. Those same unions that keep funneling campaign funds into the democrat party. Those unions that now own GM and Chrystler.

Your Tax Dollars Bought My Car

This cash for clunkers program is a completely flawed program. The individuals who drive cars that would qualify as a 'clunker' can't afford to buy a new car. Or if they can afford a new car and their car is classified as a clunker it's worth more than $4500 so they'd just resell it.

I've been driving my 2000 Grand Jeep Cherokee for 7 years an I was determined to drive it until it rolled over and died. My 4 wheel drive is out which makes it not the most terribly safe car in the world and it's blue book value is under $2,000. The transmission is slipping, it has over 135,000 miles on it and I'm concerned about safety with the new baby. I feel like it could die any day or last another year and a half.

The husband works for Ford and we get a pretty sweet discount. We also qualify for 0%financing. We are the perfect storm that this bill was designed for. So am I buying a hybrid? No. I'm buying an Edge. I'm trading in my SUV for a more economical cross-over all wheel drive. You'll probably find truck drivers trading in their old trucks for new trucks with better gas mileage.

Congress set out to create a bill that would encourage people to get rid of their old gas guzzlers and buy cars that would have a less damaging effect on the environment. The cash for clunkers program will have little to no effect on the environment and a good portion of the money will most likely go unused due to the stipulations put on the bill. If congress can't perfect a program as simple as getting environmentally damaging cars off the road- why are we going to trust them with brain surgery?

The Law of Sacrifice

The law of sacrifice is simple- you love what you make sacrifices for.

Mothers spend 9 months in pain and suffering to bring a new child into the world, they love the child.

A 12 year old boy mows laws all summer long to save up to buy a new bike, he takes care of the bike he worked so hard to earn.

The husband who sacrifices personal wants to meet his wife's wants, loves his wife more.

The man who gives up years of his life, who spends time away from the comforts of home family and hot showers for his country, has a deeper love for his country than the average citizen.

The $100 you are given you don't value nearly as much as the $100 you earned.

This law is why our welfare system is flawed, why handouts don't work and why microloans are successful- microloans are given to help people work- they require sacrifice.

This law is why the millenials are a useless workforce, few have been required to sacrifice for any of their education or their belongings, they're entering the workforce with a sense of entitlement.

This law is why socialism and communism doesn't work- when the few sacrifice for the many, the many take it for granted.

This law is why congress is spending our money faster than our children can earn it-they have made no scarifies for the money they spend.

The law of sacrifice, that we love what we spend our time and energy on is a true principle. Fathers that spend the money they earn and the spare time they have on their children rather than themselves, love their children more than themselves and are less likely to leave their families in pursuit of selfish desires.

The law of sacrifice isn't talked about nearly enough in philosophy or in every day conversation. It's not given enough credit for the societal good it brings.

We've become a nation, a country, a people where sacrifice is not expected nor admired. We expect others to sacrifice, other's to provide but rarely if ever expect it from ourselves.

What US government run healthcare looks like

A man attacked by a rottweiler was rolled into the ER and they called the orthopedic surgeon (a good friend and customer of mine) to work on him. The surgeon spent 6 hours on surgery- and saved this man's arm and leg which could have easily been amputated.

The surgeon submitted his claim to medicare, and it came back denied- because the surgery was too complex to bill. If the surgeon had amputated the man's arm and leg he would have gotten paid.



We don't need to look to other nations or come up with theory as to how government run health care would look like, (not that Gibbs nor the president can name a single payer system that they'd want to emulate) just look to medicare and Medicaid- that IS US government run health care.

I know some are going to put some wonderful stories about how medicare and Medicaid are perfect and delightful and the best thing that ever happened to you- well maybe not you but your cousin's best friend's dad...swell. But if we're already in a system where some people get great health care and others don't, why spend trillions of taxpayer dollars recreating another unfair and unsuccessful system with the same problems, except the problems are owned and created by the government, instead of the free market? A system that will restrict a greater majority of the population's choices and reduce the quality of healthcare for all?

The current system leaves some with out healthcare and carrying a debt of huge bills, the new system will incentivize physicians to amputate your arms and legs rather than save them? Why waste our money?

Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?

In the state of California ALL new fathers (this is not a state employee program-it's availble to every single new dad) get six weeks off work, paid- courtesy the California taxpayers. The state of California gives new fathers up to $917 a week to 'bond' with their new child, or play golf- what ever they see fit.

My brother will be getting paid $5,400 to not work for 6 weeks. He thinks the program is a collosial waste of money, but he's not one to pass up free money from the state of California, especially since his tax return came back as an IOU.

Steve, You Should Have Fun with This

The Role Of Government Put Into Terms Anyone Can Understand: Zombies

Our 'unbiased' media

GM hires Community Organizer as CEO

So did Chrystler, AIG, and a number of financial institutions.

Sounds pretty idiotic but oh, America you did it. Good thing you wrote off Mitt Romney and his pesky business acumen- I mean, he CHANGED his opinion on abortion! Imagine the impact THAT would have had on the economy. Seriously, why would the president need to know how to run a business.....

Koryeducation

There needs to be some financial perks for successfully homeschooling your kids. Parents voluntarily taking strain off the public school system to educate their own children.

There should also be some perks for parents who pay for private schools. Again, the choice to put children in private education leaves more resources in public system.

Why not a tax credit equal to approximately 1/2 of what it costs to put the child in the public education system for parents that go another route?

"Homosexuality won't be taught in public schools"

One of the main arguments for Prop 8 was that with out it Homosexuality would be taught in schools to children, with out the parents having any say in their child's education. Those against Prop.8 said Judeo/Christians were paranoid. Looks like they weren't paranoid enough.

California doesn't need Gay Marriage to indoctrinate kindergartners with homosexuality

Flash Back Friday- Bob Bennett

Hey remember when Bob Bennett ran for office? No? I'll help you out.

When Bob Bennett was elected - Bill Clinton was still the Governor of Arkansas

When Bob Bennett was elected: this is what a cell phone looked like:



When Bob Bennett got his cushy Senate seat: It took an average of 25 minutes to load a page on that new fandangled Internet

When Bob Bennett was elected no one knew who these people were:



When Bob Bennett was given his job this is what the Land Rover looked like:



I don't remember when he was elected to office either- probably because I was 15! We don't have term limits, so as voters it's time to invoke them ourselves. I'm changing my party affiliation...again to throw my support to Mark Shurleff. I'd vote for Homer Simpson instead of Bob Bennett.

Time to fire congress.

We're all Californians

Want to know what the country is going to look like after the Obama administration is done with it?
Look to California.

They've valued unions, the environment, special interest groups, and illegal immigrants. And what do you know, they're bankrupt.

If you want to balance a budget you've got 2 options, Tax More or Spend Less. That's it people- it's like loosing weight, you can either eat less or exercize more. Californians don't want to do either- well, now that they have to pay the taxes themselves they don't want to raise them.

I know, big business is the devil, but when big business leaves, who's going to pay for special interests? Obama thinks everyone should sacrifice self interest to work for non-profits, but who will non-profits have to beg donations from when businesses go under? What happens when we open the boarder to illegal immigrants that use our services but can't pay for them? When we shut down farmers to save a fish? Who's going to pick up the check?

California taxed the hell out of those that produce, those that produced left, and there is no one left to pay the bill. California raised environmental regulations to the point where many companies found it hard to function, good thing we have NAFTA. California has millions of illegal immigrants that go to school and use their health care system with out shelling out a dime, someone has to pay for that.

California being a liberal isn't cheap. It's time to step up to the plate and pay for those ideas that you cling to.

Why are Californians running congress? We're letting a state that has run itself into the ground lead the way for this nation. You want to see what's going to happen to this country when special interests, unions, illegal immigrants and environmentalists take over? When the environment is given more value than humans? Want to see what the US is going to look like after the Californians in congress and Obama have their way? Look West.

My Type A Personality Has Taken Over

My favorite part of Halloween? Organizing the candy. Last easter I color cordinated the jelly beans that went in the plastic easter eggs. I've decided that I can't mix politics and motherhood, 2 of my readers could care less about my political rants the other 4 don't want to have to read about the mom stuff so it's official, drum roll please............

I have a MOM blog.

This Blog will now be dedicated strictly to my political venting.

Obama eliminates the MORMON question

CNN did a story about Obama tapping Governor Huntsman of Utah to be the Ambassador to China. They mentioned he learned Chinese when he served a mission.

Since this is Obama's pick, Huntsman just served a mission- had this been McCain's pick, Bush's pick, it would have been an LDS mission. I have read a few other stories that have mentioned the word LDS or Mormon mission, but that is the end of the discussion.

This goes back to the Harry Reid issue- if a player is part of the Democrat agenda- there is no Mormon issue- however, if it's part of the Republican agenda watch the media go full court press on religion.

Take note that religion will not even be remotely touched on in the vetting of Governor Huntsman. I'm glad, this was a very good call by President Obama. Wouldn't it have been nice if Romney had been given the same respect?

What's a Ponzi Scheme?

But what's the biggest Ponzi scheme ever hijacked on mankind? Social Security.

Universal Healthcare is going to be awesome.

The Solution to American Disinterst in Politics? Steroids and Boobs

I've figured out how to get American's more interested in politics- boob jobs for all US Senators and Congressmen, official attire, evening gowns- and you can't wear the same gown twice in a row. This works well for the women but the men, well, who wants to see Harry Reid in a speedo. But what if Harry Reid did steroids? Hmm..?

A well spoken black man in a suit says something, it gets ignored- a hot blond says it, and it's front page news- can't drop the story for a full two weeks, she gets vilified and requires a massive press conference.

The economy is in financial ruin, senators and congressmen that put us in this financial ruin- minimal interest- they get highlighted for a day or two but hey, everyone makes mistakes- why call an investigation? No need to hold these ugly men accountable, they just cost your children 60 cents of every dollar they'll earn but Dude, steroids in baseball? Call out the national guard we've got a major crisis on our hands!

So the solution in drawing attention to the real issues at hand, boobs and steroids. All male us senators have to do roids, and all female ones have to get the boobs- and maybe the American people will start paying attention to them.

What's your take?

I have a very strong opinion in the following situation, but I am most definitely biased so I'm throwing this out to the six of you: What do you think?

This guy, we'll refer to him as "The Catch" is a really good, fun, smart guy that is at the point in his life where he'd like to get married. He's been dating a number of girls over the past three months but one stands out that he likes a bit more than the rest- he doesn't want to spend Friday and Saturday night with her, and really doesn't care if she dates other guys- but she's pretty, smart and fun. We'll refer to her as young girl.

Young girl really likes the catch, and she's not so thrilled that he's dating other girls. It hurts her feelings that he's dating her AND other women so young girl tells The Catch that he has to be exclusive in dating her or not date her at all. "Be my boyfriend or you can't date me"

The Catch likes this girl a lot, and wants to continue dating her, and is willing to stop seeing other women in order to keep young girl around, but he recently met another girl (who'll we'll refer to as the total package) that he hit it off with, and a big part of him would like to continue dating her as well, and is nervous that if things don't go anywhere with young girl he may lose his opportunity with the total package. Still he feels he owes it to himself to see if it can go anywhere with young girl, even though he innately doesn't like her enough to want to spend time exclusively with her.

What do you think?

Flash Back Friday- Scrubs

Hey remember when Scrubs was funny? There are few shows that have nailed hilariousness and then taken a total nose dive Scrubs- I accidentally stumbled upon the last 3 minutes of the show's finale last week- the show should have been put out of it's misery 2 years ago.

Favorite Clip:


Favorite Musical Guest:


The last funny episode:


Scubs may you rest in peace, you'll live on forever on comedy central.

Riddle Me This....

You go to work each day, and a portion of your day's wages is given to your competitor. You actually work x amount of days a year so that the competition can stay in business.

Or better yet- your competitor is out of business because he managed it poorly, but you are told that you must work x days a year to pay for your competitor's employees health care,long after your competitor has closed their doors on business. You wake up in the morning, put on your shoes and give 8 hours of hard labor x days a year to pay for your ex-competition's ex-employees benefits.

Fair? Unfair? Just? Unjust?

What do you do?

The Media Hates American Cars

The Ford Fusion Hybrid has proven it can get up to 81 miles to the gallon (and not just by hypermilers that are driving in Nebraska at 20 mph)

Read about it Here

A domestic automobile company has produced a car that has guts, is comfortable and dare I say- ecofriendly and fuel efficient, but where is the story? Why isn't this front page news?

Americans want to like American cars- we want to believe in American goods, we just need a reason to have faith in Detroit.



Ford has produced a pretty darn good reason for faith in their product and the American way- it shouldn't be too suprising that the powers that be would like to ignore it.

A Distrubing Trend Sweeping America

I blame Anne Geddes.

DOUBLE your vote against senate incumbents-

Hate the incumbent for your state seats in congress? Would you like to DOUBLE your vote against that individual? Change political parties.

You hate the Republican that holds your state seat? Become a republican. You hate the democrat in the senate- become a democrat.

The goal in 2010: get rid of all incumbents in congress, a congress has had a lower approval rating than Bush.

By changing parties you can vote against ypur incumbent twice- in the primaries AND in the general election. You get two chances to fire that imbecile that feels immune to the voter’s wrath.

What many fail to recognize is that conressional primaries are more important than the general election.

Most voters will walk into the general election looking at the D or the R, by changing parties you make sure that that D or R is not the same one that has been siiting there for 20+ years.

Are you going to trust that party you dislike so much to fire the individual that is allegedly representing your vote in congress? That person isn’t the opposing party’s candidate, that's your vote, your lawmaker, your employee. Use your voice, use your vote, take control and fire that candidate yourself in the primaries.

We’re all going to have to be bigger than the labels we’ve become proud of.

You stick to your guns and your party- you take pride in that D or the R that you've become accustomed to, you're valuing the label more than your political beliefs.

Example: Utah
In 2008 Chaffetz beat out incumbent Chris Cannon in the primaries. Utah is going to vote R either way in the general election- so those that voted in the primaries made sure they didn’t get the same fat cat R that they’d had for 12 years prior. If they’re going to have to have a Republican representing them, the last thing they wanted was the same one.

California Republicans- want to fire Barbara Boxer? Become a democrat.
Connecticut Conservatives- hate Chris Dodd? Become a democrat.

Just can't bring yourself to do it? Well then don't bitch and moan when the incumbent is there for another 6 years. You have a fair shot to get rid of them, all it costs you is a bit of pride.

3 Years down, time & all eternity to go

Like all people who have been married for a very short amount of time, I’m full of unsolicited advice about dating and marriage. Exactly 3 years ago I ended a long, fun run of singlehood- since one of my 6 readers happens to be single, here’s my unsolicited advice:

You choose who you fall in love with
Contrary to every romantic comedy around- you decide who you fall in love with. You decide what is attractive. Now, many people fall in love with less than desirables- my question is: why are you dating a less than desirable in the first place? You want to marry someone that is out of debt and has a steady job- you only date people that are out of debt and have steady jobs. You want to marry someone nice, only date nice people. This “I can’t help it, I love them” is a load of crap.

You can’t teach nice
You also can’t teach work ethic. Most girls want to date someone who is spontaneous, will make them laugh until they cry & loves to travel. Not many men are afraid of traveling, or hate laughing. So what if he isn’t the funniest guy in the world. Those things can be learned, but look for inherent traits that can’t be learned- like kindness, work ethic, loyalty….

There is a difference between attractive and hot
An attractive 25 year old will be an attractive 45 year old. A hot 25 year old, you’ve got no such guarantee.

Do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always got

Don’t look for apples on an orange tree
My grandfather use to say, “If you want to find apples, go to an apple tree” A friend of mine wants to marry a good church going girl- but he kept picking up girls at bars- um, newsflash, if you want to marry a church going girl…go to church.

You knew what it was when you picked it up
It kills me how many men marry a princess and then are genuinely surprised when she acts like a princess.

I'm opening this up to the rest of you- what piece of advice would you give a person that is on the hunt for a mate?

Just (gonna) Do It!

I'm registered for the Walt Disney World marathon. Anyone else feeling masochistic today?

All runners are on the perpetual hunt for new running music- so as a public service here is my extensive list- please please please- if you've got some tuneage you love that's not listed- share.

80's Throwbacks

Love and Affection- Nelson

Poison- Alice Cooper

The Globe, Rush- Big Audio Dynamite

Rock this Party- Bob Sinclare

Brand New Lover- Dead or Alive

Pour Some Sugar on Me- Def Lepord

Remixed

Charles in Charge- Reliant K

Mexican Radio- Authority Zero

Jessie's Girl- Frickin' A

O'Lamor- Big Mamma

What is love- Haddaway

Listen to your heart- DHT

Something about you- Hatrias

What a feeling- DJ Bobo

Don't stop believin'- The Hitmaker

Why- DJ Sammy

Under Pressure- The Used/My Chemical Romance

Faith- Limp Bizkit

Rubberneckin'(Paul Oakenfold remix)

Call on Me- Eric Prydz

Beat it- Fall Out Boy

Take on me- Reel Big Fish

Other

Good, Extra Ordinary, Desperately Wanting- Better Than Ezera

Middle of nowhere- Hot hot heat

Sinner- Big B

Come baby come- K7

Machine Head- Bush

Show me the money-Petey Pablo

1-2-3-4 coolio

Weapon of Choice- Fat Boy Slim

The Terribly Obvious
All things Britney
Fergie

The Ramones
Angels and Airwaves

Blink 182

Offspring

Beastie Boys

All-American Rejects

Good Charlotte

Kanye West

Avril

Rihanna

Rage Against The Machine

Katy Perry

Anything with 'jump' in the title

And my current favorite: The Veronica's Untouched

Brainwashing

There is a brainwashing more threatening than subtle marketing campaigns, more devilish than value depraved entertainment, more cunning than the propaganda laced history books lurking in our children's classrooms- brainwashing that has affected millions of lives in America- the silent member of the axis of evil, yes my friends, I'm talking about the evil empire of La Leche Leauge.

Every baby book designed to make a new mommy feel guilty, selfish, worthless if she does not give suck to her child. But WOAH HO! They don't mention that some babies like formula better! That going to a straight formula diet will help the baby's digestive system so you don't have to give the poor child an enema every 3 days! They don't tell you that formula will give your dear child regular naps, and get rid of the afternoon fussy time! Formula is liberating! Formula is GOOD! Formula is WONDERFUL! DEATH TO LA LECHE!!!!!

Obomanomics at its finest

Scripture Study Gets Scary

Caution: The following post is extremely Mormon

Mosiah 7:20
...it is because of our iniquities and abominations that he had brought us into bondage

21: And ye are all witnesses this day that Obama & Congress, who were made kings over this people, they being over-zealous to fix the economy and gain poitical favor, therefore being deceived by the cunning and craftiness of China who having entered into an agreement with China , and having yielded up into their hands the possessions of a part of the land, or even mortgaging the entire country to pay for secret combinations and pet projects

22: And all this China did for the sole purpose of bringing the American people into bondage. And behold, at this time we do pay tribute to China, to the amount of one half of our daily labors... and even one half of all we have or possess China does exact of us.

23: And now is this not grievous to be borne? And is not this, our affliction, great? Now behold, howe great reason we have to mourn.

25: For if this people had not fallen into transgression the Lord would not have suffered that this great evil should come upon them. But behold, they would not hearken unto his words...

29: For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not: and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them.

30: And again he saith: If my people shall sow filthiness they shallreap the chaff thereof in the whirlwind...

31: And again he saith: If my people shall sow filthiness they shall reap the east wind, which bringeth immediate destruction

32:: And now behold the promise of the Lord is fulfilled, and ye are smitten and afflicted

Guilty!

Conversations in my brain: (James Joyce Style except with punctuation)

Oh man, the baby is farting like a 15 year old boy at scout camp. Maybe it's because she's getting a breast milk/formula combo, or it's because I have to take a stool softener. The diet coke could be why she's not getting much sleep, right, like giving up diet coke is an option- she's so unhappy when she toots, that can't be good- maybe I should go to just formula. Ooo, no more pumping in random parking lots before I go into a meeting when I'm traveling for work. Going to straight formula would be easier on her system, then we wouldn't have to give her an enema to go poop. Do I want her to go to formula just to make my life easier or hers? Hold up, every time I pump calories leave my body. I need calories to leave my body, but it may be better for her system to only have one kind of milk, and I could actually take pain meds and I'd get time back- oh sweet precious time. I'm selfish. Selfish vain mommy. Pump because it helps me loose weight but gives her painful gas, quit pumping to gain time and freedom, but baby gets no breast milk benefits. Plenty of really smart, neat people were raised on formula- do I really think that my child will be better with breast milk? But shouldn't I do everything i can for my baby's health? Does it matter? Am I really putting my kid in front of the tv at 3 months so I can exercise? Bad mommy. Then again, it's not like I'm going to sit there and wave colors at the kid while singing. It's just 15 minutes- but 15 minutes today, 30 minutes tomorrow, next thing I'll be using PBS to babysit my kid. A healthy mommy is a happy mommy, but what comes first: the happy mommy or the happy baby? Then again, she's happy when she's drinking formula, and laughs and giggles at baby einstein. With this much guilt I really should be Catholic.

Unwarranted Arrogance

When I was single I often met boys who were not that attractive, didn't have an impressive career, weren't terribly dynamic, definitely didn't have any money, and were moderately intelligent at best- but completely arrogant.

I can understand a bit of arrogance when you're Brad Pitt, but nothing annoyed me more than unwarranted arrogance.

This past week one of Obama's comments has gotten a lot of press- that America is arrogant. If America is indeed arrogant when it comes to our European counterparts it may have something to do with our forefathers dying to liberate Europe, our tax dollars continually flowing into Europe and the rest of the world for aid, leading the world in charitable contributions and when ever there is some major dispute in the world, all eyes are to the U.S. of A. to do something about it.

It's funny that no one complains about the US arrogance when they're asking for our help.

Maybe someone who's forefathers didn't die in World Wars would think their sacrifice trite, maybe someone who doesn't sacrifice to give to charities that assist foreign nations would think the contributions minimal. It's those that have never lived by the Mexican border that would apologize for the American bodies getting in the way of Mexican drug cartel bullets. It's this unwarranted arrogance with which I take issue.

Good job B.O.- apologize for America in France- the HQ of unwarranted arrogance. Explain why he can apologize for our country when he has taken no part in the sacrifices this country has made.

I ask what has the president done that warrants his arrogance?

I have a minor crush on the president of the EU

I rarely laugh while listening to NPR- but this weekend I burst out loud:

"Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek called Obamanomics a 'Road to Hell'"

Gotta give it to those Czechs for calling it like it is.

FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE

Brent and I have decided that if Obama and Congress take away our guns (and don't think it isn't being done- there's a ton of back door methods trying to make their way through congress to take away the right to bear arms) we're moving to Texas- because Texas will leave the union before they let this sham of a government take away their right to bear arms.

However, in an effort to manifest to the government just how many people want this right protected, the NRA is offering FREE memberships!

Click Here To Protect Your Right To Bear Arms (and to save Brent and me from moving to Texas)

Blessings making me cranky

By 6 pm yesterday I was wiped out. That morning I got the best run in I've had in months, and between feedings I was on conference calls, typing with one hand while bouncing a baby on my knee, picked up my sister in law at the airport, catching up on all that I've missed in work over the past 3 months, dealing with spit up all over the floor, ran to the post office just before it closed to send a package off to my sister in Paraguay, and did about 3 loads of laundry.

Then around 8 pm I was cranky. I was worn out, tired and knew that this was my new life.

This morning I realized I was the most ungrateful creature on the planet. I was cranky because I was able to have a great job and take care of my healthy beautiful baby at the same time. I had a sister in law that helped me immensely in the afternoon yesterday and a sister who is out serving other people. I was exhausted because I was able to run. I was cranky because I was blessed.

If there is one thing I know, is that if we complain about our blessings God will surely take them away from us. I better watch out!

You like me! You really like me!

Ok so maybe you don't like me, but my cousins that I've always looked up to and admired like me- and I consider that quite the accomplishment. I rarely care what others think of me but these classy ladies are the exception to that rule. (I retract that statement, I care when people like me, I don't care if they don't like me- I figure it's their loss)

They flattered me by interviewing me on their blog- read the bossy post here .

Hookin' a Brother Up

I don't posses many talents, specifically, I have two: First- I can pick out the perfect pair of glasses for any face within the first 3 minutes of walking into a store.

The first talent has something to do with looking like this as a child:





It's become second nature to know which set of glasses is going to look best on any one's face. I know you're jealous, some of us were just blessed. I'm sorry, it's something that can't be taught, it's an inherent skill that took years to inquire. I just know. I'm probably going to be held accountable at the last days because I've been hiding this talent under a bushel.

Since I can't teach the first talent, I'll share some information on how to acquire the second- setting people up.

I've yet to meet anyone who can match my skills, I'll practically break my own arm patting myself on the back for this one. 2 Marriages, many fabulous realtionships and one couple that drove 1/2 way to Vegas to my name. (They really should have gotten married, I've never met a couple that was more Saturday's Warrior, but they had a Hubble situation on their hands. Kind of tragic really- anyhow I digress..) I've yet to have someone tell me that the date they set them up on was a mistake or that they couldn't see it going somewhere. Seriously, I'm good- so this is how it's done:

1st- Single people are not single because they can't get married, they're single because they've chosen not to get married yet. When contemplating setting up a single friend don't think "who do I know that's single?" think "who do I know that this person would get along splendidly with?"

2nd- Don't build up the blind date. Do let the two you are setting up know why you think they would like the other person- but don't say that they are 'so perfect for each other'. Keep the information about the other person as minimal as possible.

3rd- If you can avoid it, don't set up people on a blind date. The sneaky set up works best. Have a get together inviting a number of people who are single- but don't go pairing anyone off. Don't tell the people you'd like to meet that you're setting them up. Just create a casual and fun environment where the two can meet.

I enticed my neighbor to come to a dinner party by telling him I was going to set him up with one person, when in reality I wanted him to meet someone completely different. That way at the party he didn't feel any pressure when he met person #2. In addition, his roommate was a total flirt that I knew would monopolise person #2, so I didn't invite him. They now have 2 kids.

You'll find that most single people want to be set up if it's with someone that they will genuinely like, not if it's just someone else that is single- that's offensive. It's telling them that they should just settle for anyone.

Single friends: Am I missing anything here? Please share your insight-
And speaking of 'sight' (oh, sooo punny!)if you need some glasses give me a call, I'll hook ya up.

As a courtesy for all news reporters...

After watching Obama, his terrible excuse for a press secretary (seriously, Robert Gibbs must have some serious blackmail on Obama that landed him that position), and congress over the past 50 days I've figured out the answer to all critisms directed at the whitehouse. No need to ask any tough questions, I've got your canned answers below:

You didn't hear any complaints about it when George Bush was president.

I inherited this problem from George Bush.

The Bush administration did the same thing.

And in regards to earmarks and reckless spending they sound like the coach of my highschool football team: Next year we'll get them!

Fabulous Item of the Week- a Milker

Our home is cluttered with stuff we thought the baby might like. Swings, toys, chairs, there are few items I've decided I could live with out. But the one item that has made our lives so much easier- is the medela breast pump.




Sure, being milked isn't terribly glamorous, it's the same price as a car payment, but it's been worth every dime. It takes 10 minutes to pump versus 1 hour to feed. Love it, love it love it!

What is the one baby item that made your life easier?

I owe Mike Huckabee an apology

You know, apparently I was overly critical during the nomination process, as our current president has shown that basic logic and math skills are indeed NOT required to be president.

According to Obama doom and gloom speeches over the past month, we're in store for another depression - which was they key argument for bulling the nation into buying in on his 1,000,000,000,000 spending package, however according to the white house budget, over the next 5 years we'll see unprecedented GDP growth rivaling China, which will cut our deficit in half! We will be in both a depression and have unparalleled prosperity!

Mike Huckabee- you have my apology, at least you were upfront about your shady math skills.

Overheard in Sunday School

While reading in Mosiah 11 about wicked King Noah and how he burdened his people:

And he laid a tax of one fifth part of all they possessed, a fifth part of their gold and of their silver, and a fifth part of their bziff, and of their copper, and of their brass and their iron; and a fifth part of their fatlings; and also a fifth part of all their grain.

"One fifth? wouldn't that be nice"

The Consequences of Socialism

Brent and I were talking about Obama's proposed taxes, and what will actually come to fruition. The result of which: I'll quit my job.

I did the math and I would rather spend 100% of my time at home than work 50% of the year for the government to support their reckless spending habits.

Then it dawned on me- that's the consequence of socialism, it no longer becomes beneficial for producers to produce. Smart producers figure out that they're supporting consumers- so they stop producing.

Is this what a Monarchy looks like?

Where are the checks and balances? Where is due diligence? Has congress become nothing more than a bunch of yes-men for the president?

Nancy Pelosi's quads must be burning from that brutal work-out she gave them during the President's address to congress. You'd think that woman's seat was on fire. I was embarrassed for her.

We didn't elect a president we crowned a king, our congress is filled with noblemen, with no term limits that tax the people as they please, using our money to give favors to their friends, and retain power.

I'm not talking about democrats or republicans- I'm talking about a Senate full of useless, pompous, egotistical individuals that grow fat on the labor of the people. Government has become a great leech, and each day it grows, literally, each and every day.

A friend of mine compared Obama to Princess Di, with the fascination of the media- his face gleaning countless books and magazine covers- but there's a difference, he has more power than Princess Di, and none of the heart.

It's a do as I say and not as I do president. Obama is above it all- we may not have the right to keep our homes at 71 degrees, but he has the right to keep the white house at a sweltering heat. There are no sacrifices coming from the ruling class, no we the laborers are expected to sacrifice so Washington can maintain its lavish lifestyle.

It's angering to watch other people spend money I earn. The hypocrisy of Washington is palpable. Congress will spend months interrogating professional baseball players about drugs (like we care) but won't think twice about cutting checks for billions to unscrupulous companies.

I guess there is a silver lining- at least we elected our king and our noblemen- so the country will be in the financial bondage it deserves.

Pregnancy Weight

My mom and my sister had the same reaction when they saw my profile- see below:



Out right laughter. We had picked Kelsy up at the airport, took her immediately to the cheesecake factory and when she saw me get out of the car she couldn't stop laughing. This is why I didn't go to church during the last month of my pregnancy- I couldn't fit in a pew much less a dress.


I put on 65 lbs of pregnancy weight. Ridiculous, I know. I stopped exercising, I ate what ever I wanted and for one full week I lived off of peanut butter and celery.

In the hospital I had a grand total of 15 bags of IV fluid (so the bill tells me). I had so much water pumped into me that I left the hospital weighing the exact same weight as when I entered- despite having an 8 lb human removed from my uterus.

I've since gone on Nutrasystem and it's no surprise why people lose weight on this program- it takes like crud. You don't want to eat because your options are so unappealing. There is no way Marie Osmond actually eats this cardboard.

I have lost 30 lbs of my pregnancy weight (it would be a lot easier to get excited if I didn't have another 35 to go) but don't hold your breath thinking I'll post some 'after' pictures.

Stimulus Simply Explained

A blog I wish I had written: Stimulus Package Explained

What happens when we inform our lenders that we are borrowing money from them:Bella and Barack

The Valentine Backlash

I read this article on CNN- and I swear I wrote the exact same thing last year. I'm SO ahead of my time.






After perusing around the internet I have found that I am not the only one that thinks Valentines is a marketing ploy and a cheap excuse for romance. Slowly but surely the idea is gaining ground. Next thing you know, everyone will catch on to the idea that diamonds are also nothing more than an expensive con.

The silver lining in this recession, the devaluation of the dollar and the fall of conspicuous consumption- we will have to stop valuing things and start valuing people. Few relationships are strengthened through prosperity, more are strengthened through hardship. We may be forced to revert back to homemade gifts, hand picked flowers and true thoughtfulness, because we can't afford to be lazy.

Which brings us to Valentines day. Valentines day isn't inheritly evil, as long as when we decide to manifest love, it's a gift of self. There's nothing wrong with a holiday to break up the monotony of winter- just as long as we are valuing and celebrating love, and not objects.

(And if you NEED flowers, let your significant other buy them for you on Feb 15th- when they're 80% off)

Why looks are over-rated...

Because this:





turns into this:

Congress is a bunch of prepubescent girls

Impulse spending is typically reserved for candybars at the check out line, that $100jacket that you know is going to make you look $200 better or the additional item that happens to be on sale.

But now, we get to watch our congress spend 780 billion dollars on an impulse, on emotion. Congress has now proven they have as much self restraint as a 12 year old girl at the mall with her pocket full of babysitting money.

The average person, when looking to spend a great deal of money on a car or a home will spend months evaluating the options, shopping around trying to find the best value for the money. We would never consider buying a house with out considering the terms, having the home assessed, and simply going on faith that the seller was looking out for our best interest.

Apparently when you're spending the American people's money, you don't have to do such due diligence. If the seller (Obama) tells you to vote for it with out thinking, spend your money with out assessment you do it. And if you don't it's like the new cool kid in school is going to banish you to the front of the school bus. Obama's blatant peer pressure on those that oppose him, calling them names for wanting to assess where the American people's money will be going- is childish.

It takes more time to close on a home than it's going to take Congress to commit 780billion dollars. This money does not have to be spent now, but it's become apparent that more restraint is used by Congressmen in spending their own money, than it is in spending yours.

Post-Partum

I looked in the mirror and realized- I've become her.




I only wear mismatched sweats with strategically placed wet spots and spit up on them
My hair is always pulled back in a ponytail
I usually don't get around to showering until late-afternoon
It's a great event if I put on make-up.
The bags under my eyes say I need a good 48 hours of sleep.
I look like I'm still 6 months pregnant.

What I didn't realise is that she also:

Would rather watch her baby yawn than the inaguration of a new president.
Doesn't care if the dow dropped 200 points-the only number she cares about is the number of poopy diapers in a day.
Gets excited and congratulates her baby when she successfully spits up all over her.
Never tires of staring at her baby's face
Gets a peace of heaven each time her child falls asleep on her chest
Enjoys changing diapers and washing bottles
Has never been happier

You Were Right...

You're right. You're all right. Every one of you. I thought that there was a massive conspiracy to get women pregnant because misery loves company. I thought the 'it's different when it's your own kid' was a fallacy. I thought that newborns really didn't do much for me, and I wish that kids came out 2 years old.

I was wrong. So very very wrong.

Yesterday we welcomed a new baby into our lives, and it changed everything. I now believe in love at first sight. She is adorable, and such a good baby. Wow. It's completely undescribable, wow.

However, as to all the horror stories about labor- I was prepared for the worst and I was worried about nothing. The easiest part of my entire pregnancy was labor-thanks to the skilled hands at St.Mark's hospital. Seriously, no pain- none, such a fabulous staff and this means a lot coming from a total wuss.

Here's the picture of the beautiful little girl. This blog will not turn into a 'mom blog' (not that there's anything wrong with that)- but mostly I won't be posting any details about this adorable child because there are too many weirdos out there.

Due date +1

We're now at the due date +1. So how am I?

Besides the fact that my feet are swollen to the point I can only wear my husband's flip flops, I'm hanging in there. That's if I overlook dreading going to bed- because after finally getting into bed, like a pancake continuously flip from side to side to avoid getting bed sores and to allow blood to flow back into which ever arm I happen to be currently trying to sleep on. It takes about 3 minutes to reposition. Once I've finally found a position that is remotely close to comfortable, I have to use the bathroom for the umpteenth time, waddling like a duck every step of the way.

I have two appetites: I can't eat anything because nothing sounds good, even when I'm hungry, or I eat everything in sight times two! Either way, I am bound to down another package of tums to avoid serious heartburn (another reason I get no sleep). I can't tell the difference between a contraction and having to go to the bathroom, and the highlight of my day is a good bowel movement.

I'm currently on maternity leave, which is in the best interest of all involved due to my tendency to cry at the slightest bit of stress.At the same time it's incredibly frustrating to want to accomplish so much but barely have the strength to get myself up off the lovesac. I've learned from watching day time tv commercials that I'm wasting my life and I really should be entering a technical college, my regular job is a total crock because I could be making millions from home, and I'm an idiot for not buying silver coins (because the price of silver WILL go up!) and the snuggie is the best thing since crocs.

My heart rate increases just by walking to the mailbox, and my breathing is so heavy that after climbing a simple flight of stairs I need to sit down and take a break. I can't figure out why doctors keep asking for urine samples when I can't even see down there. One more week of this and I'll be ready to do ANYTHING to get this kid out, including reaching for the first leatherman to cut it out myself BUT excluding sex!

My favorite is when people tell me I'll 'miss' being pregnant. I'll no more miss being pregnant than I miss acne and the 7th grade. I can't blame her for not wanting to come out, all I do is watch an hour of the news and think "no wonder she wants to stay in there!"

Baby Bribe

My first OB measured the fetus in the early months and moved my due date from Jan 14 to Jan 7th. That meant we could induce on December 30th to get the tax break from Uncle Sam. However, I didn't like that OB- so I switched and though the new OB is wonderful, he goes strictly by the calendar- keeping my due date Jan 14th, hence the earliest I can induce is Jan. 7th.

Yesterday we promised the baby a pony if she comes out before 2009. I figured if I put it on the blog with the 6 of you as witnesses- she'll know we're serious. She's got approximately 12 hours to claim her pony- then all deals are off.

Favorite Christmas Card of '08

Travis is a stellar guy. Intelligent, good-looking, driven, and single.

When he asked for addresses to send Christmas Cards out, I wondered 'why would a single guy send out Christmas cards?' Then I opened this:



I've never had a card make me laugh so hard.

The Honest Christmas Letter

Dear Friends, Family and people I feel obligated to send a Christmas card to because you sent me one last year,

It’s been a roller coaster year for the Boohers!
Mostly due to Kory’s hormonal imbalance.

Brent started a new job and is very excited about the new opportunity and challenge!
The great challenge will be keeping a job as he is a banker that works for Ford, probably the worst industry you could possibly be in at the moment. So if you could be encouraging of the government extending a loan to the automakers we’d appreciate it. If it doesn't happen, he’s going to become Mr. Mom, and we’ll have to switch to one ply toilet paper.

This past year we got a new dog, Max who Brent absolutely loves and who Kory begrudgingly tolerates. Max is a fabulous hunting dog keep tiny children and animals away from him. Brent has spent a great deal of time pheasant hunting with Max and loves it. Anyone want a dog?

Kory still loves her job. At least that’s what she chants to herself each morning while coming to grips that she’ll be responsible for bringing home the bacon if the government won’t allocate some of those billions they’ve been handing out like lollypops to banks to the auto makers. She is happy that she got to cut down on the travel in these last few months. But no so happy about being too large to fit into an airplane.

We’re expecting our first child any day now, we know you wondered if that would ever happen- and look forward to being parents.
'Look forward' is kind of strong, more like paralyzed with anxious anticipation and total fear.

It’s our second year in our home and we love the neighborhood.
We still have issues with Utah, suffering from seasonal depression, listening to inane local news, and Kory tends to violently shake and dribble a bit in the summer months with out a beach.

If you're in Utah and can come to visit, we'd love to have you! We're going to need babysitters, and if you do stay with us can you make sure you clean up after yourselves? And at least offer to buy some of the food you consume? We won't take you up on the offer- but the offer does need to be extended.

Wishing the best to you and yours. Unless you got into a mortgage you couldn't afford and bought a ton of things on credit, then I'm hoping the government takes your home, your new BMW, forcing you to live in a van down by the river.

Merry Christmas!!

- The Boohers



Note: The enclosed photo is 3 years old because damn! we looked good then. We're not nearly this attractive anymore

To Gift, or Not to Gift...

Hypothetically speaking...



You're an exceptionally good gift giver, you don't have many talents, 6 to be exact, but giving good presents happens to be one of them. You're so good that sometimes those who receive your gifts don't realize the genius of the gift until years later.

One Christmas you give a gift to person A- an extremely thoughtful and cleaver gift. Though A attempts to act grateful, you can tell A doesn't quite get the brilliance of the gift. Your feelings aren't hurt because it's obvious that A has lost their sense of humor and self and it is so obvious that this gift is awesome. You tell person A that if they don't like the gift they can sell it on eBay because it is in high demand and worth a lot of money.

A few weeks later person A then mentions that the gift you gave A was the hit a party A recently attended. Everyone loved it. (See even complete strangers recognize your fabulous taste, even if person A doesn't) You ask why A'd take such a gift to a party- from which you defer, not only did person A re-gift your gift, A re-gifted it as a white elephant gift. (The fact that this individual would give away something they could have easily sold for a minimum $45 on eBay as a white elephant gift doesn't quite surprise you, you've already decided A has lost all taste, what amazes you is that A actually thought they were paying you a compliment in how many people liked the gift)

That same person A had mentioned to you that a friend gave A something for free because A had extended a helping hand. Two weeks later you get the exact same item that A was telling you A got for free as a Christmas present.

Person A has also made it a habit to never write a thank you note, nor even a phone call extending thanks for gifts (very, very thoughtful gifts) that were previously given for a variety of holidays and occasions.

So here’s the question: Do you continue to give gifts that go unappreciated? Granted you don’t give a gift for appreciation, but if the receiver is going to donate the gift to the Salvation Army, what’s the point?

I've previously blogged about how to receive more presents but as gift giver is there a point in time come where you say- "dude, from now on out you just get cards"?

Bitter

I'm bitter, resentful & annoyed- then I feel guilty about being bitter, then I feel justified, and go back to being annoyed. I'm blaming the hormones- but women really did get a raw deal.

The man goes off to hunt I'm home in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant? No, literally, Brent is out hunting with some buddies and I'm at home with out even socks on making fudge to console myself.

I've become resentful that I have to be home and tired and fat while my husband gets to go do things he loves.

I know, I could go spend money- but there is nothing I want! Curses! The blessings of fasting extend beyond hormonal outrage and plus- who wants to buy anything when they've just put on 50 lbs? FIFTY! The baby weighs 5- so that's 45 lbs I get to work off post baby. Brent doesn't have to lose 45 lbs- where is the justice!?!??!

Women have been going through this pain, suffering and annoyance since the beginning of time and have been considered second class citizens? They should be worshiped! How dare men for years take women for granted! It's the women who suffered! I can't believe that pioneer women even had sex!

But THEN, I think- 'it could be SO much worse. I could have cancer, I'm lucky to have a really wonderful husband. I want Brent to be happy and do things he likes. Anything I wanted to do he'd support'- here's where the guilt comes in full force. How dare I be resentful when I am so blessed? I'm ungrateful.

But in turn- why doesn't Brent ever have to be pregnant? If I want 2 more kids after this why am I the one who gets to suffer 18 more months of pregnancy?!? Brent needs a turn! Why am I the one who has to go through the pain? This is the shaft!- and we quickly slip back to bitter....

Help? Anyone? Please?

Proposition D8

Caution: If you're not A- Mormon nor B- Have been in a singles ward- you won't get it.

Celebrating Christmas Year Round

It really is tragic that people only feel the Christmas spirit one month a year. In our house we try to be better than that, and invite the spirit of Christmas every day into our home. Which is why this-





has a permanent spot in our living room. Nothing says Christmas like a leg lamp, and who are we to hide the leg lamp under bushel? We let that light shine 12 months a year.

Birthing Question

In birthing class last week (which has been surprisingly helpful) they focused on breathing techniques- and the teacher said, "You really want to control your breathing so you don't black out"

Kory raises her hand: "So, what's so bad about passing out? Why would you not want to pass out while in labor?"

Teacher with a look of shock on her face: "If you pass out you could miss the whole birthing experience"

Kory: "Ok, um, let me ask this again. Why would you NOT want to pass out?"

Teacher looks at Kory and Brent with a blank stare-

Underestimating my wussdom

I had to have a mole removed off of my back by the dermatologist. They had to take out a substantial chunk of flesh to make sure it didn't turn cancerous.

I was ok for the procedure- I was laying flat down on my stomach and was completely numbed up. I did get some stitches and was told to come back to the doctor in a week to have the stitches removed.

I was some what concerned about feeling the tugging of the removal of the stitches. In the doctors office I sat on the edge of the exam bed and told the nurse that I get queasy very easily. She dismissed the statement because hey, it was only stitches, and while she removed them I didn't feel a thing. But then she said, "oh, it looks like your allergic to adhesive, you have a few little pimples where the band aid was"

Suddenly I started to feel light headed- I started thinking to myself:
"Kory, it's just a pimple. Why are you feeling light headed about a pimple? Are you seriously feeling dizzy over a pimple? Kory, get over it- uh, oh, I can't hear anything any more, I lost my hearing? this can't be..." Shabam! Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor of the exam room. I passed out and did a head dive off of the exam table onto the carpet. I actually had a rug burn- on my FACE.

I blacked out over a pimple. This my friends, is another reason why passing out completely may be the only way this child ever comes out.

I'm a Wuss

I've never been good with blood or needles- I close my eyes when watching House, if you start to tell me a story that involves blood, wounds or any sort of physical pain I'll plug my ears. I am a wuss. I know I'm a wuss. I've accepted total wussdom.

A year or so ago I had a colonoscopy. The procedure itself isn't nearly as terrible as having to drink the 5 gallons of nasty nasty clear solution that makes you poop water.

Typically they just drug you to relax for the colonoscopy, you're completely awake during it. In the hospital the nurse was preparing me for the iv and I warned her, "Look, I tend to get a bit queasy so you're going to have to do this quickly"

She said 'no problem' and then after poking me said, 'Uh oh, your blood isn't threading- we're going to have to poke you again. Don't worry- I'll get someone else to do it.' My breathing gets a bit more rapid, the heart starts to pound a bit more.

Nurse #2 comes over and pokes me in my other hand, and then proceeds to say, "it's still not threading, we're going to have to poke you again"- Surely this nurse isn't so stupid as to get this wrong again and then proceed to announce it to the patient with her head between her knees and trying not to freak out. They go to get another nurse, they poke me this time in my arm- the nurse says a third time, "It's still not threading!"

At that point I'm handed a paper bag to breathe into, put on a bed and rolled in to see the doctor. I'm at the brink of passing out. Entering the procedure room- the doctor looks at me and says "I hear you're not very good with needles" it took me all of half a second to reply, "Yeah, and neither are your nurses!"

That is the last I remember, instead of just relaxing me for the procedure they put me under completely. I'm thinking passing out may end up being my only line of defense in labor.

The Push Present

It's no secret that I say things that annoy most women- why would this post be any different?

I learned of the Push Present two years ago, and thought it strange. A man gives a woman some sort of bauble because she gave birth to his child. The baby isn't gift enough, the woman needs some tangible piece of appreciation from the man. I thought maybe it was the man's way of saying "Sorry you suffered so much for this child, because I can't suffer I'm going to go out and buy you something" which doesn't make much sense either- because any good pregnant woman makes her husband suffer just as much as she has- for the full nine months. (Ask Brent how much sleep he's gotten recently)

The push present is a pat on the head, "Good job woman, you gave birth to my child, here is your reward" and since being pregnant myself I've decided it's demeaning and trivial. That little blue box from Tiffany's immediately devalues the precious new life put in your arms. A baby isn't enough, the woman now expects the man to reward her for her efforts with jewelry.

Talk about a giant step backwards for feminism! A feminist doesn't have a child because she will be rewarded by the man, she doesn't expect gifts for doing things she wants to do. She is in a partnership with her husband, and when she suffers through birth she expects and knows that her husband has or will equally suffer for the family in other ways- and no trudging into the local mall and having something gift wrapped isn't suffering- it's something I very well can do myself.

Way to go women! Tell men that there is a financial equivalent to carrying and giving birth to a child. Men you're in luck- take an hour to do something that is no sacrifice, takes no genuine thought, doesn't alter your life in the slightest to thank a woman who spent months in misery. Ladies, best of all you can brag about it to your friends!

Which brings the surface another social ill- the competition between women in all things trivial and worthless. Like the comparing the size of wedding rings isn't enough (My husband makes WAY more money than yours, see my ring is bigger!) Now women get to compare push presents. Another avenue where they get to tell other women that they are only as valuable as the gifts their husbands give them. Awesome.

A true push present is to honor the woman that gave birth, to wake up in the middle of the night with the baby, to change diapers, clean the house, do the laundry, take the baby in for shots- and tell the woman she's beautiful each day after birth that she's carrying that pregnancy weight. The true push present is a husband who is loving, supportive, and protective of his wife and child. Not some worthless trinket.

Now, if a husband sees his wife in pain, tired, and frazzled and would like to do something spontaneous to make her happy- it's a different story. It's the "I give you present for being good woman and bearing my seed in your loins" which is offensive. Call it a push present and you might as well be a concubine trying to produce an heir for the king so you can be rewarded.

The world is becoming more and more superficial- despite harsh economic times- and women desiring push presents when a sweet baby is given to them is pathetic. Like so many things that undermine respect for women and motherhood- it's not men but women that have chosen to minimalize themselves.

Pregnancy Q & A

Yes, this was an email forward- but it's timely, so it's geting a post.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.